Tennis my saviour

If there is a panacea for every ailment, for me it has to be tennis, playing or watching the game, there isnt a bigger or better relaxation for me. I am glad that i will be resuming tennis today after a lull of more than a month. I am just waiting to grind on the clay courts here and clear off my head and get ready for the weeks ahead. Tennis,thou art my saviour at all times.

Equations

As I begin to write this I need to put in one quote that I always have loved "The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page". If you can replace "travel" with a more plausible "staying away from home", I think this quote is exactly what I am feeling at this moment. Life has many equations I never realized and I am trying to get a hang of it. I am now in Germany for the past 3 months with a small 2 week break in between when I went back home. I havent stayed away from India for this long my entire life. This period has helped me to get down to brass tacks about people. I am all consumed in various thoughts and feelings, I never knew i had so much emotions in me, maybe an undercurrent somewhere that was lurking in deep waters but never rising to the surface, all it needed was a trigger and the ripple effect began, each wave more intense than the one before bringing with it a cornucopia of dormant thoughts and when these thoughts faded away, leaving behind an emptiness, as if my mind is holding me in sardonic contempt and asking me to swim in this lacuna. Those who know me would vouch me to be insensitive and a complete loner. I am happy to realize i am anything but that, I am not as selfish as what people perceive me to be. In these 3 months, I have realized at various moments that I have always cared and thought first about other people and only then about myself. I have interacted with a lot of people in this period, with a few I have felt a bond that could last a lifetime while some others have left me with a strong sense of detachment. This has pained me beyond measure. I have no idea why some of them have left this indelible imprint in me. I dont believe that I wont be able to get through this trying phase, I know I will and I will emphatically, but I also know that these equations would change me forever, make me a better person, but somewhere in the future I will also look back to these days and treat it with disdain, even have the ability to trivialize this period as an afterthought. Speaking of afterthoughts, one more quote before I sign off from this post. Robert Frost: "In three words, I can sum up everything I have learnt about life: it goes on".